Quiz

For each question, rank yourself on a scale of 1–5 as to your level of agreement with the statement (1 represents strongly disagree and 5 represents strongly agree). Go with your initial gut response to the statement and complete the quiz as quickly as you can.

I feel my divorce will damage my children emotionally for life.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
Most of my friends are happily married and are raising their children together under one roof.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
When people ask if I’m married, I feel a twinge of guilt and shame when I say I’m divorced.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I notice my children are embarrassed or uncomfortable when they explain to their friends that their parents are divorced.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
Because I see my children less now than when I was married, it’s even more important that the time we do spend together is positive and upbeat. I make sure my children are doing a lot more activities and having some really fun vacations with me now, even if I can’t really afford it.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
Life is so busy these days with work, family obligations, and the children’s schedule that there’s hardly any time to sit down and unwind.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I don’t like to ask others for help because it makes me feel weak or needy.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I often wake up tired in the morning.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
My kids really need me to be strong so they can get through this divorce intact.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I tend to rush from one appointment to the next because I have so much to do.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I don’t have time to exercise or take time alone very often.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I have to be strong so my children will see that we’ll be OK.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
Despite my best efforts, I often yell at my children over little things.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I feel guilty and responsible for depriving my children of having a regular two-parent family to grow up in.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I don’t like to be a burden to anybody.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I am never able to plan more than a few days ahead.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I feel overwhelmed by the daily challenges I face and spend a lot of time and energy figuring out what I should do next.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I don’t like the idea of planning. I feel that it limits my ability to be spontaneous and creative.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I dread the thought that I’m going to have to deal with my ex-spouse for the rest of my children’s lives.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
When my ex-spouse does something I don’t like, I lose my temper and get upset.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to raise my children with my ex. I wish I could just do it on my own and never have to deal with him/her.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I worry that my ex will malign or talk badly about me, as a person and as a parent, to family and friends.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
If I want to do something that I think will hurt someone’s feelings, I often use that as a reason not to do it or do it anyway without them finding out.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
It's important to me that people like me and think I’m doing a good job.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
If I ask for something from my ex, I never feel heard, so, if it’s really important, ask my children to make a request on my behalf.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
It’s important that my children learn what their father/mother is really like, so I openly share all my feelings about my ex with my children.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
My job is to make sure that my ex-spouse listens to and responds appropriately to my children.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
My children are too young to communicate effectively to my ex-spouse about what they want or to explain how they feel.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I get upset when I hear that my ex-spouse has different rules in his/her house about bedtimes/TV watching/discipline.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
If my children are upset by something my ex did, I don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and tell him/her off.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I have trouble pinning down when the children will be at my house or my ex’s house, and then putting it on a calendar.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
When my ex or I need to switch our child-sharing arrangements, it always seems to become a battle or big negotiation. We don’t have any set rules or agreements about how to handle those requests.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
When there are problems with moving the children or their things between my house and my ex’s house, I prefer to solve the problem on my own and then presenting the answer to my children and my ex-spouse afterward.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I don’t like a lot of structure in my household because I prefer to do things on the spur of the moment.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
It’s my responsibility to make sure my children are happy as much as possible. If they get angry or scared, I feel I’m not doing my job as a parent properly.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I don’t enjoy being alone. If I am alone, I prefer to keep my mind occupied with activities such as watching TV, talking to friends, shopping, or doing other activities that keep me busy.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
Sometimes I have the same thought patterns about what a jerk my ex-spouse is and how I should have handled things differently. I keep replaying the past in my mind and looking at what I should have done differently.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
When I think about my future, I feel sad and disappointed that my dreams of living “happily ever after” never came true. It’s hard for me to feel inspired about the future.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
Even though we’re separated, I think it’s important that my ex-spouse and I have the same goals and rules about how to raise our children. The fact that we don’t agree about parenting styles is a big source of frustration for me.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
My home environment is full of clutter, and it’s hard to find the things I need.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I am a sensitive person, and I tend to take things personally, especially when it comes to my ex-spouse.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I often think about what my ex is doing and who he/she is seeing, and I ask my children or common friends about him/her.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
On holidays, such as Christmas and New Year’s, I feel somewhat down and lonely.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
I don’t think that I’m responsible for my relationship breakup. It was all my ex’s fault.
Less True - 1 2 3 4 5 - More True
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